


letters to the lynx

by theRandomwriter1



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Dies, Death, Implied Relationships, Letters, Max Lob, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Sad, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theRandomwriter1/pseuds/theRandomwriter1
Summary: I'm using this as a way to cope from Banana Fish so it's Ibe writing to Ash and keeping him updated basically. Be sad.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter is equal to one 'letter' and yes ik that some of this stuff isnt cannon but idc

_Dear Ash,_

_Eiji and I made it back to Japan. He couldn't stop talking about you the whole flight here. His eyes lit up whenever he would see something or someone that reminded him of you, and I just wanted to say thank you. I’m not exactly sure about your current phone situation so that’s why I decided to just mail this letter to Max or Charlie so one of them can hopefully return it. Don’t worry, I won’t get offended if you choose to not write back or find this weird. The one thing I do ask of you though, is to call Eiji every once and a while. He absolutely adores you, even if you’re younger than him._

_He’s actually at the store printing off the few pictures he has of the two of you from New York and I don’t think I have seen him smile so brightly since his pole vaulting days. I’m not sure how much he told you, but he was in a really rough patch before we came to America. But luckily the two of you met. Even if it was a very rocky road, I couldn't have asked for a better person to be Eiji’s friend. We would love it if you could find time to come visit us, more so Eiji, but I realize that your life is a difficult one so that may be out of the question. Just know that we will always be here for you if you have any troubles or anything._

_I really do hope for the best in your future, if not for your sake then for Eiji’s. Call me bias but he is the most delicate and loving person I have ever met. Eiji just came back from the store and is blabbering about how the cashier told him he sounded part American. Oh lord Ash, you seem to have infected my household already! But between me and you, I'm happy that Eiji is able to smile again. Knowing it's from you is even better. He really does ~~love~~ value you in his life. Well, I’ll wrap this letter up but will send more in the future. Try not to get killed out there! _

_Your_ _Uncle, Ibe_

~~_P.S That was a joke, I know you are too smart and stubborn to die, plus Eiji would have your head on a stick before anything._ ~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna continue adding chapters until I'm happy with it, so ik it seems like this chapter is the ending but boyyy is it onlt the beginning :)

_Ash,_

_Oh Ash. I can’t believe it’s true. At first when Max called, I got mad at him for playing such a cruel joke. But when I heard his voice crack? I nearly threw up. I’m honestly still in denial. I just don’t understand. That stupid fucking librarian. I don’t like swearing ~~but it’s not like you're actually here to say anything~~. Shit. I wasn’t going to tell Eiji. I swore up and down that he was in enough pain since leaving ~~you~~ New York. But I guess he overheard my phone call with Max. He hardly made it to the bathroom before throwing up. He begged me Ash. Begged me it wasn’t true, that you had convinced me to play a joke. All I could do was hold him while he sobbed in my arms. _

_God Ash, I can still hear his screams, his cries. The pure agony and heartbreak in them cannot be compared to anything else. Eiji refuses to come out of his room. It’s been days since I was told about your passing. I tried talking to him Ash, I promise I did. He refuses to talk, let alone eat. Shit he’s screaming again. It’s 2 in the morning but he gets terrors. Ever since he knew that you died, his nights have been filled with nightmares. No, I don’t blame you. I blame myself. What was I thinking? Letting someone like Eiji come with me to New York on a trip like that? It’s like I was begging for him to get hurt. I’m so scared for him._

_I think I have to take him to the hospital, but when I told him that he screamed at me not too. That he was so terrified because that was the last time he saw you. He broke down telling me that even though he was on medication at the time, he could see you crying and reaching out to him. Ash, he somehow blames himself. He has it twisted in his mind that if he stayed in New York, or if he hadn’t told you to leave, or if he- He just will not stop. I know I should respect his wishes, but he’s so pale and skinny. No meat on his bones._

_He’s screaming again. I’ll keep you updated._

_Goodbye Ash Lynx._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i'm mad at ash??

_ Ash,  _

_ He won't eat. He won't speak to me. Every time I go into his room, he just stares right through me. I’m so lost. I don't know what to do. I thought I could take care of him but I can't. It’s so fucking exhausting. Yes I know I shouldn't give up, but it’s so hard. So fucking hard. I’m not cut out for this. I just want him to be ok. But I know I have no idea the type of pain he’s going through. You ARE were his soulmate. I couldn't tell at the time, but ever since he met you he’s been happy. So happy. _

_ I think he blames himself. I’ve heard him say that if he just didn't give you that letter, if he had just done what you said and left you alone that you would still be alive. And god I get so mad. It’s such a horrible emotion. But I can't help but embrace it because it’s so much more beautiful than the horrible emptiness that consumes me since you left. When you died, Eiji died along with you. Not all of him, but his heart will never love again.  _

_ I laugh at myself sometimes. Who do I think I am? Writing letters to a dead man as a way of coping? I was never in love with you. I never say anything special about you besides how you made Eiji feel like the only person in the world. But Eiji did. Eiji saw everything there is to see about you and more. He saw how broken you were. He was always trying to fix things. But I guess he started trying to fix you too late.  _

_ Max told me that you didn't die on the spot. He said they found you in the library, ~~the same you that you and Eiji went to~~ , and that you had been stabbed. He told me that you didn't die immediately, but that you were bleeding out for hours. HOURS. How could you do that to us? To Max, Jessica? To me and Eiji? I refuse to tell Eiji. I won't let you hurt him even more than you already have. He may love you, but fuck Ash. You’re just so selfish.  _

_ I still love you like a son. I still hold you dear to my heart. But I will never forgive you for letting yourself die bleeding out instead of fighting for yourself. Eiji had been fighting for you the moment he met you. But you gave up. And I will never forgive you for that.  _

_ Until next time,  _

_ Ibe _


	4. Chapter 4

_Ash,_

_Eiji told me a story. About a leopard and a mountain. How a leopard was found frozen on a mountain and no one really knows how or why it was there. He told me how he remembered you telling him that story. How your face was void from any emotion. I put two and two together and realized he was talking about you and himself. He relates to the leopard because it was always climbing and climbing towards the summit, with no other thought besides reaching the top. And Ash, you are the summit._

_You were always too far up and too far away to ever fully reach. But that didn't mean that Eiji wasn't going to try. He tried so hard to be with you. He fought for you. Fuck, he almost died for you more than once. I think he was the bravest out of us all. But you were always just out of reach. And he died trying to reach you. Not physically or mentally, but spiritually. His spirit and emotions and love for life is gone._

_The dazed look in his eyes scared me more than when he was crying. Because at least then he had emotion. He is eating more though. He promised to eat as long as I didn't take him to a hospital. And so far he’s kept that promise. He hasn't been doing anything else but that though._

_I talked to Max and Jessica. Max hasn't been the same since he told me. His spark is gone. Max told me he looked at you like his little brother. Maybe because of the guilt that came with knowing Griffin, or maybe because he honestly saw past all the ‘tough guy’ acts you put on for everyone ~~besides Eiji~~. Jessica’s trying the best she can to help him, but how can you help someone that lost family? _

_I did have a dream the other night though. Or maybe it was you coming to tell me that everything was ok. It showed me when you were teaching Eiji how to shoot. You both were smiling and laughing. I was there watching you in awe. I thought ‘How can someone so dangerous be willing to help this foreign kid?’ But my memory was changed. In real life, when you noticed me staring at the two of you, your guard was instantly up and no emotions were on your face. However in this dream, when we met eyes, you smiled and the love for Eiji that you had stayed on your face._

_Thank you Ash,_

_Ibe_


End file.
